Good sex bad toy

She texted me that she arrived and since it was a quick walk from my driveway straight to my kitchen door, she knew she didn’t have to dress too proper. Whatever, she’s 22 so its not uncommon that girls her age always wear short maroon shorts and a black zipper front halter top. She walked in greeted me with a kiss to the lips. That’s one of my favorites especially when its long and lingering and unless you’re European or South American, they come off more intimate than sex. Also, I’m a better kisser than a fucker so I always play to my strengths after all, you don’t see Christian Bale teach a lot of anger management classes.

As we stood there with our bodies embraced and my head tilted one way, her head the other I reached down to unbutton and unzip her shorts. I could hear the metal unclasp, clickity click,  as her pants unraveled just before she wiggled her pouty butt out from her denim prison. The fabric was soft, I’ll have to dry hump her next time. She had a thin bright red thong that distracted me momentarily - it was so cheap looking but that’s coming off anyway. We knew where this was headed so we walked over to my spare room to finish off what we started. 

Side note: My spare single sized bed is too small and at one point, she said, “are you comfortable”. Well my penis was feeling great but my neck was not. I’ve never had sex in this room but I’ve been sleeping on my old bunk bed so which is definitely not built for 2.

Since I have low confidence about my sex prowess, I hope a radioactive porn star bites me, but for now, I bought a toy from the Hustler Store in West Hollywood to help me out. Oh sure, hookers and girl friends don’t want to hurt my feelings so I really never know how good or bad I am but this is a case where no news is not good news. The toy was a black vibrating cock ring. It actually had 10 different speeds and motions much like a shower head. I thought for sure this would be the answer to the question “oh my god Bill, you were so good?”. One day, I would like to hear that statement and I could honestly say yes but for now, the answer is no. My “friend” did seem interested in trying it and after putting on the condom and some lube, I slipped the ring over my dick. I don’t think my dick is particularly thick  (but for its length, pretty decent) so I was surprised that it fit so snug. I guess mandigo guys don’t need any kind of support so this sex aid is not for them. But 2 pumps in, we both had a quizzical look in said not in unison “naa, this isn’t working” and “its in the way”. 

The rest of the late afternoon was us alternating who on top since missionary and cowgirl is both our favorites and the toy dropped to the rug below. I guess where it belongs.

Side note 2: Yes, I tried masturbating with it. Meh.