Standing in line under a damp drizzly sky is not my ideal way to spend a Sunday morning but here I was with my cousin, behind 40 or plus more other desperate hombres waiting for a chance to buy a $5.00 cronut from celebrity chef, Dominque Ansel.
"Celebrity Chef" What is a "celebrity chef" anyways? Rachel Ray? Gordan Ramsay? Martin Yan? Are they famous? Should they be famous? How about Jiro, he has a whole movie about him and in reality, it was his son who deserved the Michelin star. Shit, my mom should be a celebrity chef. After working all day cleaning the house, vacuuming the floors, doing the laundry and folding the sheets, she provided dinner for a family of 6 on a minister’s budget, 7 nights a week for 15 years. And it wasn’t like chicken fried rice on Monday and leftovers until Sunday. We ate something different and amazing every night - pork belly with salty vegetables, chicken with mushrooms and wooden ears and steamed fish with ginger and green onions while the adults ate the leftovers for lunch the following day. It was a god send feast every night and no one realized it until we all moved out. Right now she’s in a nursing home because people get old, meanwhile we’re singing praises to a god damn French pastry chef. But I guess he’s amazing since people stand in line every a.m. in New York at 5:00 and resell it on Craigslist for $80.00. That’s an expensive breakfast - personally I would just assume take a 21 yo hooker with a fuchsia bra strap peeping under her tank top to a Denny’s for some moons over my hammy.
So what is a cronut? Think of a deep fried donut but instead of biting into a cakey chewy inside, its layers of buttery flakiness surrounded by a thin glaze of sweetness, filled with a slight creme center and a dot of lavender to make it look pretty. It was delicious, like having a girlfriend for the very first time delicious but would I wait 3 hours for it again? No. Once is ok to experience this piece of high cholesterol that has New Yorkers in a frenzy but in general, 10 minutes is the most anyone should wait to nourish oneself.
My (guardian) mom never got a tv or book deal or got famous not that she was trying to. I guess whenever we ate secnds or thirrds was her way of knowing she did a pretty good job. And not just on rainy days either.