Just an image

Asa wasn’t around tonight so it was tough since she knows about the crap that recently happened and we couldn’t discuss the latest event. Personally, it was pretty disappointing for me, I had known him for 10 years and his art and storytelling <s>was</s> is amazing and influential and despite his short stint at Marvel comics, I still admired him as an artist and a friend. Wait, can I call him a friend, after all, I really didn’t know him now did I. I need to separate the man and the artist. Damn, I wish you were here. 

We went out to dinner tonight to celebrate Dave and Critter’s birthday and you know if the right wing conservative media had their way, Hitler would have been with us too since everyone’s bday is one day apart. Hell, we should have blazed away and eaten rabbit while we’re at it. Bobby had chosen Ruth’s Chris Steak House which is his favorite. Originally, it was to settle a hockey bet between True Star and the Mountain Man but Dave wanted in and so did we. It was a quiet night, maybe everyone was reflecting on another year gone by or maybe it was just the food.

Bobby upsized his order to the Cowboy Ribeye steak so that he could “share” with us. He did but I”m pretty sure he could have finished the whole thing by himself. No doggy bag for him. The ribeye is flavorful and tender due to the nice marbling of fat throughout the steak. The prime rib is the same piece of meat but prepared differently.

Quiet C made a special appearance. Without Asa, it was nice to have some female company at the table. She spent most of the evening watching the hockey game with Bobby. They were in their own little world, in a table full of “terrible peopleP, thank god for them. She ordered the filet which is the most tender piece of meat since it has less connective tissue.

Dave got 2 salads since he’s diabetic. How the might has fallen, everything catches up with age. But he’ll get passed it, we’re his friends so we’re encouraging him to do whats best. Just stay light on the dressing. Happy Birthday Dave.

Critter got the lobster and steak. Big meal for a big man. He looked genuinely happy this night. Despite being seafood, the cholesterol is high in lobster. Also, they basically hang out in a big toilet on the bottom where the shit sinks down. Happy Birthday Critter.

Alex ordered seared tuna. They say we shouldn’t eat seafood more than 3 times a week since there’s a chance we’ll get mercury poisoning. Mankind can’t seem to do anything right.

I got the lamb chops. Its the only piece of meat on a bone that you can gnaw on without looking too much like a savage. But I fail at that too.

Val couldn’t make it since he had to work his other job. We’ll get you another night.

The evening ended with quietly with hugs and shakes. One day Asa and I will meet Jim Lee. He couldn’t make it on the show. He was quite pivotal to the X-Men franchise in the 80’s although he’ll have to explain that costume choice for Jubilee. Whatever, she’s a vampire now anyway. Everyone’s a vampire

Anonymous asked:

Hey Bill, since you're spending so much time with Asa, do you ever have moments when you think you might develop feelings for her?

All the time until I ask her what she wants to eat and shes say “salad at home, I don’t want to cheat”. I’m pretty sure that’s just a metaphor for her marriage so I just drop her off and go home to watch reruns of Community.

Ktown Market

Every once in a while, Los Angeles will put on some food tasting event and everyone starts creaming in their jeans over it because oh my god, xyz truck or chef fingermyass is appearing. First of all, why am I paying money to get into this event, can’t I just go to their restaurant for free? Second, some vendors don’t even carry their signature dish so instead of a great ramen, I’m chomping down on a skewer stick of chicken. Thirdly, lots of places don’t have mini plates so now I’m paying for a full entree and how much am I really going to eat. I’m chubby but I don’t want to be. So Korea Town in LA has a night market which is free to get in but instead of standing in a long line just to find out the food taste like finger up your ass, let me just tell you where to go. 

Ramen Burger
After living up to the hype with their temporary pop up stores last year, Keizo Shimamoto finally opened up a brick and mortor in New York. But of course that doesn’t help us here so if you see them, just go straight to their tent and stand in line. This dish will bring you back to the days of being poor and all you had was 12 cents ramen and some left over hamburger. It was so god damn good. However, its 8.00 but its still just as nostalgia should taste. The Japan trekking ramen chef now offer a “ktown” burger but just get the original. Ramen Burger should be at every LA “Night Market” event.

Mama Masubi
Without formal training, this Chinese brother and sister team says, “we’re just going to make this Japanese appetizer, cater the hell out of it and make good money”. Ok, I don’t know if they make good money but their rice triangles filled with deliciousness thats not too fancy nor bland aka, onigiri’s are a step above the ones served at restaurants or Nijiya supermarket. Grab an assortment and eat your carbs. A billion fat Chinese people with Diabetes can’t be wrong.

You can avoid the White Rabbit truck orange chicken tasting tacos, the Mexican style corn on the cob which is better and cheaper at the park as well as the sliced potato swirls on a stick - don’t fall for the packaging. I neglected to mention Seoul Sausage since I’ve never eaten there but its suppose to be tasty.  

kumadave asked:

Awesome PoonReport Pooner! We got a tiny glimpse into Val's mind. One of my favs so far. Simple yet interesting. Any plans of hanging out with Val In the future?

Thanks Kuma. I definitely want to hang out with Val, he’s a good man and I want to know what his life in Mexico was like as I’m sure he didn’t come to LA to wear a plaid shirt. Also, I need him to be my friend because when DVDASA get into some crazy shit, I’m pretty sure Critter is just going to put David on his back and run away, Steven Lee is gonna just look around in innocent disbelief, Money Mark will lay out a soundtrack for the moment while Alex is filming this epic, leaving Val and I to watch over Asa. And what good is she, its not like she’s going to take her panties off and tentacles are going to come out. So yea, Val and I with brass knuckles and beer bottle in our hands.

Being Validated

You can google Asa Akira or David Choe and 19 pages in, there’s still website pages with photos and/or articles praising/despising them.  But what about Val, the Hispanic guy that sits down, says a few words and leaves when we sign off. Although we sit next to each other, the show usually starts right away so we never have a chance to chat. But we did today over lunch.

Me:  How long have you worked for David?
Val:  A few years. I use to work for Bobby (True Star) before and then when the other guy (Yoshi) left, Bobby asked me if I wanted to come over to work with David. But they said I had to go on the show and I said no. They asked again and I said “ok”.

Me:  David says crazy stuff. When you go home, do you tell anyone?
Val:  No, I live alone, I don’t like roommates. I don’t talk to anyone about this. I don’t like to talk about these things. People always ask me why I don’t talk, I just don’t.

Me:  How about your family, you talk to them?
Val:  Just my parents, I don’t talk to my brothers or sisters. 

Me:  What do you do on your day off?
Val:  Nothing. Just clean up the apartment 

Me:  You have a girlfriend?
Val:  No

Me:  Its easy for you to get sex?
Val:  Maybe? I only see those kinda girls 2 times. 

Me:  Whoa, you went to a massage parlor?
Val:  No, I just go outside and look for them. 

Me:  You use that lifesize butt that David gave you
Val:  Yes, but its kind of weird. Also, it hurt my dick. Too dry. 

Me:  You like movies, whats your 5 favorite?
Val:  Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Hangover 3

Me:  What did you just order for lunch?
Val:  Chilaquiles (In its simplest most rachet definition, its a form of nachos. There is usually a fried tortillas cut into quarters topped with salsa, queso cheese, mole and 2 fried or scrambled eggs. Served with rice and beans, every region from Mexico serves it a little different (some have avocado slices, onions or creme). I like to try different ones.

We ate at El Tepeyac, one the oldest family owned Mexican restaurants in LA. and famous for their large burritos. But none of us ordered a burrito. 

Anonymous asked:

Do you think the show is turning all porno-like, like Critter described it in part 4 of the Vegas episodes? If so, what do you think of it?

Yes and no? I think with any endeavor, there is a natural progression to evolve because of the human spirit to grow or out of sheer boredom. If you put a group of people in a room with a pen and lined paper, they will begin writing short stories and eventually produce some good or bad epic novels. Conversely, instead of a writing instrument you have a hooker and a camera, porn is gonna happen. Maybe the next time we’re in Vegas, instead of a call girl, we get a heavy bag and hand wrap and see what happens. 

Salumi in Seattle

So I’m in Seattle and half of everyone is raving about Salumi’s. They’re an Italian deli opened by Mario Batali’s dad if that mean anything to you. But it doesn’t to me and consequently, maybe that’s why I wasn’t impressed by the meatball sandwich, muffaletta or chicharrones I shared with the random couple behind me. Oh, its all decent but I don’t know, I wouldn’t wait more than 15 minutes for it that the restaurant’s fans are willing to do. It wasn’t a bad sandwich, it was just kinda ordinary. Do I have to be refined to enjoy it but after all, its just food between a bread, how fancy should it be? Also, I like to bite my sandwich from my hands and not have to use a fork and knife which is the more practical way of eating any meatball sandwich. I should have went to Paseo’s since that’s where the other half was directing me.

Anonymous asked:

You win a billion dollars, then what?

Life would be the same except for a few things…

1. Get a new car and be Asa’s full time driver. I would take her everywhere and I’m pretty sure we could grow old together much like Billy Mack and Joe did in “Love Actually”. 

2. Buy my krush a place to live in Mexico

3. Fix the hole in the wall and ceiling of my room

Stripping in Seattle


As I travel with Asa to Seattle for our second trip out of town, I find myself being enveloped by her strange world of feature dancing and behavior of the people around her. I don’t know whats real and everyone is weird. This is just fucking awesome.

. Note to Asa. You’re tired. You just flew in from a busy schedule in New York and now we off for Seattle the following day. We’re talking music and you say you’ve never heard of Thrift Shop from Macklemore and shuts me out. Ok, I don’t wanna say anything but do you think I just pull music out of my ass for our conversation enjoyment, Macklemore was born and raised in Seattle (yes, the same city you’re dancing at) and the city loves this guy. You have Justin Bieber on your play list but not the gay activist and funny how you heard of him when our driver mentions him 2 hours later.   

.  Note to Asa. I give you props for turning it on like a 12 year old pervert who just hit puberty. You weren’t your normal chatty self on the plane but when the meet and greet time came later that night, and there’s a long line, you were all smiles and graciousness. Buuut, I know you better than that. I know when you’re being sincere and when you give your 4 “hahaha’s” in high pitch cadence as in “ha ha ha ha”, that’s just you being polite to the unfunny joke some fan just dropped. I know because I’ve said inane stuff and you’ve given me 4 ha’s when I know the joke didn’t even deserve a polite chuckle. I hear the fans say their crap and I hear the 4 laughs all night long. Go ahead people, count them the next time you think you say something funny to her. Or don’t count them so you go away thinking you’re Aziz Ansari or Louis CK.

.  Note to Asa. When you try to give a smart answer to what may or may not be a thought provoking question, you kind of talk like Drew Barrymore where the side of your top lip inverts up. But most dudes at the strip club fall for it because they’re either drunk or too mesmerized by just having seen your boobs up close and live. I’m pretty sure that every guy just agrees to whatever a girl with bare c cups tells them.

.  Note to fans, if you’re going to an event where the celebrity is advertised to appear, they’re going to charge you a fee for an autograph or photo. Its so sad to see you hide your disappointing surprise and mumble and stumble your way through an excuse to say you don’t have $40.00. She’s going to take pictures with you and one of them is topless. Conversely, I’m sure Piper Brady will sign for free if you can find her. She showed up in 2 or 3 cheap films and than quit. Remember, Asa is an AVN performer of the year and has “appeared in countless amounts of videos”.  

. Note to entrepreneurs. This is a meet and greet where you get to chat a little with your favorite porn star. This is not where you have a pitch meeting trying to get Asa to promote the product you made in your basement of your mom’s house. I know, you just need one person to believe but standing in line at a strip club with a bunch of horny men and fat security guards is not where its at. Trust me. See below to see how its done.

. Note to other strippers. What part of the closed curtain and 2 chairs blocking the entrance to the private dressing room that you don’t get that we need our privacy. Don’t perpetuate the dumb stripper stereotype, use some common sense. We’re counting money yo.

. Note to other strippers. Thanks for asking if I’m Asa’s manager but in real life, managers don’t crawl on the floor to pick up rolled up cash. That job is left for production assistants or interns. Or loser boyfriends with a meth addition without a job. Asa introduces me as “friend” so I’m cool with that.

.  Note to quadriplegic guy on airplane. Well played sir, well played. Pretending you have no use of your hands and feet to get some face time with Asa at the airport. You went all the way with it when you shook my hands with the fish like grip and took a wheel chair all the way to the baggage claim. You might just have a shot with Asa.

.  Last note to Asa. Here’s the photo you requested to be placed on this entry so everyone can see your awesome abs. Personally, I wanted Macklemore but what do I know, I only got twenty dollars in my pocket…

Anonymous asked:

So how was Marie Styles? Awaiting your honest review. Play by play please!

I’m not a good person to review her since I’m not one to try different angles and stuff. She advertises herself as PSE (porn star experience) and I prefer GFE (Girlfriend Experience). Too much crap goes through my head when there’s cof (oh man, she’s going to have to redo her makeup) or cob (what if I miss, is David really going to be sleeping on my jizz?) I enjoy dirty talk but girls sound fake doing it so I start to laugh. Basically, if the head of my dick feels good, the rest of my body doesn’t have to be in different positions. Its like eating, food taste great on my mouth, I don’t need to use my off hand or eat it sideways to make the pizza taste better. But seeing an escort and having a gf is a different thing though, ironically i’m more open with a gf. Marie and I didn’t do as much DFK (kissing) as I would have liked but all in all, it was fun, I mean its sex. No one should complain.